Thursday, December 2, 2010


First of all, something funky happened with my computer the other night (like, last week) and this post was never published. Enjoy!!

So I put my underwear on inside out this morning as I was rushing to get dressed and leave the house WAY after I intended. It would be okay if it were the first time this has happened, but, unfortunately I can't say that. It has happened on several other occasions, and I'm not really sure how I do it in the first place! (And, I should mention, I didn't even notice it until about my third time in the restroom today...) It's not as if my vagina really gives a shit about which way my panties lie, but I sure do. I felt like such an idot* today when I looked down and realized why they weren't 100% comfortable when I had put them on earlier. Um, duh!!

...But you have to give me points for at least WEARING underwear in the first place, right? I mean, I could have forgotten like that time in kindergarten when I was still VERY shy, and I didn't notice until I got to school that oops! I didn't have any underwear on... And of course my Dad had to get to the hospital and my mom was working, and oh the horror; I, of course, was wearing a dress. Everyone was asking, "Elizabeth, what's wrong?", Since I recall standing very still in one place and I'm sure I nervously looked around and had cheeks the color of September Red Delicious apples (especially since I'm KNOWN to get WICKED BAD hives when I'm nervous). Anyway, my mom came to save me and of course my teacher asked, "Why didn't you say anything?", I wasn't really sure THEY should be teaching or monitoring ANYTHING, let alone impressionable, human children, since COME ON! MATTERS DEALING WITH UNDERWEAR OR THE LACK THEREOF ARE VERY PERSONAL!!

And that is why I am sharing these stories here, with you.

Long stor(ies) not so short, underwear holds a very special place in my heart. I don't know that I've ever gone commando in my life (NO thank you, dreaded jeans against vag chafing--I already have enough thigh to thigh chafing as it is thanks to my healthy appetite and as-of-late-not-so-hearty workout routines), but I know some that do. I happen to actually really enjoy underwear, and previous years' credit card statements will echo this sentiment. I love lace, frills, colors, matching, comfortable and made-for-show. It doesn't matter if I'm the only one who sees it; I love putting on something pretty underneath my clothes. It just adds to the package that I see, and helps me feel sexy. It goes along with doing my hair and makeup; if I FEEL good, then I am much more confident and I am more poised, and I enjoy myself more. Who would have thought underwear would have had such a profound impact on my life??

This post wasn't meant to be all about unmentionables, but I couldn't help but run my mouth about all the pantilicious things that came to mind when I saw my silly mistake today. On another note, I got a legitimate bed and a computer desk from a friend who was heading out of town and back home-for $100, which I figured was awesome since #1, no more sleeping on the air mattress, #2 he helped me move it and #3 it cost me approximately $900 less than BUYING a new bed would have. And although I may still invest in a canopy bed frame somewhere down the line (let's face it, I am and always will be a princess), I'm much more content for the time being and I consider the $100 money well spent. And I think I will sleep much better. And I need to what with going from job to job and being out of the house from 9:30 AM to 10:30 PM!! But seriously, I am getting to love my new coworkers at both jobs and a little espresso in the AM helps me get through the day without crying and I never have "that 2:30 feeling." If anything, it's a 7:30 feeling. AND of course I love that I'm making money. I set myself up a budget that I truly feel I can stick to, plus it has a little wiggle room each month. It also allows me to pay my mom back for the blue car, put a decent sum of money in a long-term and short-term savings account, AND have a little sum to put in a "ladies' nice things" account for a rainy day purchase of, say, leopard print shooties or something equally as fun and unnecessary.

I am finishing up my dinner of raspberries, as I found I wasn't even really hungry for a full dinner. I have a little Keith Jarrett/Charlie Haden playing in the background, and I may just light a few candles and read a few chapters of this Jennifer Weiner book I took out from the library.

*idot= a word that was created when my sister and I were passing angry notes to each other and her idiot morphed into idot. Thus, idot has become a nicer way of calling someone an idiot, not unlike the gaming term, "n00b."

1 comment: